Wherever you’re going, whoever you’re becoming, whatever you’re going through keep emerging. I’ve been thinking about who i'll be on that other shore once we get through this and we can be out in the world again. It’s been a year of SIP in which we all experienced a LOT of really weird days and feelings. We might not know what is ahead but when we get to the other shore...have you thought about who you’ll be and what you’ll do?

Looking through photos from March 2020 to March 2021, I can see that a lot of life has been lived. I’ve somehow eked out enough persistence to persevere what I thought was impossible. It felt like a year that should have been impossible to experience and yet it was reality. Yes, we can do hard things and yes we can continue and keep going. At the end of the day the biggest question I’m turning over is how will I show up on that other shore and who will I be? 

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I experienced the social justice movement as a woman of color, reckoning with my past silence, in my home with my family.

We lived a lot of life last year, on the inside. My family chose to not social distance see friends (except for 1-2 times in the year), eat out or travel. Grocery store visits were limited to once a week and only one person went. I personally put gas in the car twice (because my husband took the lead on that while I did the bi-weekly Target trips). I started going to Target because I started to feel concerned about my ability to be around others and needed practice. I experienced the trauma of the social justice movement as a woman of color, reckoning with my past silence, in my home with my family. I saw the online bullying of people pushing the agenda of continued silence and the persistence of accepting hate. And as the vaccines roll out I’ve been working my way through a series of reflections:

• How do I come to terms with the things that happened when we were inside now that there is a possibility of being outside?

• How do I distance myself from hatred and discrimination from people who used to be in the inner circle of my family's life? How do I take on an understanding of their choices and allow room for myself without making them my focus?

• How do I uphold that line when others don’t and it’s inconvenient and there are pressures put upon me to accept the “old ways”?

I’m grappling with the likelihood that on that other shore, I want to stand tall when others will want me to shrink. I’m adjusting to the reality that I will probably walk this walk alone in my everyday life as the only black adult in my family. In 2020 parts of the world learned how to say “Black Lives Matter'' but can they turn that into action on the other shore? Like others have said, I’m my ancestor's wildest dreams. On the other shore, whenever we get there, I want to emerge and embody my wildest dreams.

Sharing some simple and practical tools I’ve found helpful during this time. It goes without saying that taking space is an important part of honoring yourself wherever you are and what you’re experiencing.

Healing Circle

There are many ways to engage in therapy or support. I recently attended a healing circle that was specifically to support black people. There was tremendous power in seeing so many beautiful faces smiling back. It was a space I didn’t know that I needed and I for sure wasn’t aware that something like them. was even out there. A quick Google search will return local resources close to you.

Here’s why it’s important. First of all your mental health is always important and requires regular maintenance and support. There are annual physicals for your body and you should also do one for your mind and soul!. It’s June 2020 and there is a huge movement in support of Black Lives Matters and anti-racism. For some, myself included, it’s possible to feel hyper-visible which can bring up grief, trauma, and other complex emotions. A safe space to process and a community to be a part of can support you in the work you are doing whether it’s marching, talking to your friends and family, making art that speaks to your truth, or even raising your children.

Journal (I know I just sighed too!)

I’m the first to admit that I have never really kept a consistent journal. Instead I have notebooks filled with half pages here and there. I’m more of a notebook collector than someone who is able to organized enough to remember to fill the pages. I’m here to share that it’s okay…it doesn’t have to be consistent. It can be whenever you can do it or want to. Don’t force yourself but it is a tool that can help work through what your experiencing in your inner and outer world

So hurry up grab a pen, paper, and tiny scrap of paper and pour out your heart. It might lead to a page or 2. Don’t worry about filling the entire book!

Healing and selfcare

If I was a mess in life before (which I was) you bet I'm a mess now right?! The nuance is just that now I don't get to leave my house for Target trips, to see friends, or just in general to run away from crying children. We are living in a pandemic and it's weird, scary, and complicated. Here are tools i've been using to cope.

Disney+ 

We gave in and upgraded and I feel guilty but it was also a great decision. But, just to be clear my daughter did start to pretend she was Ariel .... and as you know Ariel kind of ran away and yelled at her dad...so read into that what you will

Some Mama Self-care

I may not be able to go anywhere but I've started taking more baths and doing a mask once a week in the shower. There are so many great deals out there so take advantage of them. Here are my favorites that help my skin glow and stay hydrated…but also water works too

Tata Harper Resurfacing Mask

Tat Harper Resurfacing Serum

Sunday Riley CEO Glow - Vitamin C and Turmeric Oil

Therapy

Have you heard of a healing circle? It's magical and uncomfortable but really helpful if you're feeling alone. I've found them helpful to listen and share during this time.

As a full time worker, mom, partner, daughter, friend life is feeling full. Here are some things that have brought me some join in January as I look back.

Making Memories

I rediscovered my Olympus Pen which I bought after the birth of our daughter. I never really figured out how to use it but wow does it take a fantastic picture. Hoping to make more time to explore its features and learn something new.

Something For Me

Nail polish is something i’ve got a love/hate affair with. I don’t have the time or budget for manicures and I hate it when I’m walking around in chipped polish (defeats the purpose right?!). But I was inspired by the Target clearance section to try this new color and it’s been great. Chips and all.

Taking Care Of Business

O I broke down and bought a Dyson and it was a fantastic decision.

Every year around this time it starts…the worry and dread and yet hope for the holiday season. This year i’ve decided to take a step back and start with self-care before I dive into the flurry of planning. 2019 has been quite a year for me with lots of ups and down.

Here’s the thing, I’ve been focused on reseting myself before the holidays hit as a way to thrive. I’ve spent over a year and a half (for various reasons) putting myself last. Since September i’ve been working on prioritizing my self-care while keeping the planning pieces of life moving forward. What point is self-care if things pile up that detract (know what I mean) from how great you’re feeling.

Here’s a mom holiday starter pack to add some levity to this season.