Fertility Self-Care Tips
Whether you are pregnant, in the midst of receiving fertility support, freezing your eggs, growing your family with the support of a surrogate, or on another path to growing your family here are some tools and tips for self-care. Here are 5 (of many take aways) I have from when I was trying to kick fertility in the butt. It’s a journey that’s life changing in so many ways. It’s one that forces you to come home to yourself whether you want to or not. I hope these tips are helpful in providing tangible ways t to support what ever path you find yourself on.
You matter and your experience matters - I took us 3+ years to get pregnant with our daughter. So long in fact that we started to tell family that we were not going to have children. It was a huge question mark in our life for what felt like a lifetime. What I wish I had know then was that my feelings those of my husband mattered. Do all of the things that you think might bring you joy and happiness especially when you’re not feeling great.
You can choose how you show up - Some days I showed up with a lot of rage and others some grace. They were pivotal moments in my life and many moments I wish I had never had to face. In fact, I’m jealous of people that never faced the same types of challenges. In retrospect the journey to my children showed me I have the capacity to deal with hard and heart wrenching situations.
You will find your family - It may not be the way you thought it would happen, when you thought it would happen, or how you want it to happen. But if you have room in your heart to share your life with someone else it will happen.
You are a health advocate and you can raise your voice - Question your doctor, or the advice you get, or the articles you read. Question the experience that people share because you never know what you might learn that might help you or someone else you know.
Get a second opinion - Or a third opinion, change doctors, or nurses, or health plans. Find the right person for you and your family. If you find a doctor who gets it but you don’t want be best friends with you might need to choose which one is more important to you. Our fertility doctor was a great physician but was kind of quiet. The narrative I told myself was that she was emotionally protecting herself. Who knows if it’s true but I don’t really care because there was value in the medical care I received.
Embody the lotus flower
“If you feel lost, disappointed, hesitant, or weak, return to yourself, to who you are, here and now and when you get there, you will discover yourself, like a lotus flower in full bloom, even in a muddy pond, beautiful and strong.” – Masaru Emoto